Trust Without Borders

     As you may already be aware, temperatures well below the freezing point have become almost a daily norm with a fresh load of snow falling almost weekly across the Northeastern United States this winter season. Not surprisingly, this morning when I noticed the temperatures were due to be quite Spring-ish in feel with lots of sun for the second day in a row, I knew I needed grasp the opportunity to head straight to the nearest coastline after church (which in my current situation happens to be Sandy Hook, New Jersey).
     Having grown up at the coast, with many childhood adventures in my memories, there is something about the ocean that has gotten inside me and become part of who I am. Whether it is due to the many mouthfuls of salt water I drank as a kid, or the salt air breeze that so often filled my lungs, or perhaps the many times I found myself trapped under a strong riptide (hoping and praying for the endurance to hold my breath long enough for the wave to pass so I could swim safely to the surface again), there is just something about being at the shore that makes me feel complete and at home.
     From my earliest memories and even now, I am always filled with a sense of wonder as I walk onto the sand and know that I have reached the edge of the earth, or at least, the edge of my own country and land. The feeling of being at the very border of my state and country brings me to feeling of connection with other lands and cultures. As a child I used to focus my eyes hard out far over the waters and then try to convince whoever was with me that I really could see Spain or northern Africa (okay, maybe I still do this sometimes). When I stand at the beginning of the sea, I know the next stop is somewhere very different than New Jersey. It's invigorating to feel this openness and connection with the rest of the world. You know that feeling of staring out in awe at one of the most powerful forces in nature and realizing how small you are compared to the seeming limitlessness of the ocean? Yea, that feeling. Inspiring. Exciting. Frightening. Enrapturing.

     This feeling of limitlessness then brings me to the remembrance of our Creator God. As big, and grand, and powerful as this Atlantic may be; how big, and grand, and powerful must be the God who formed it and watches over it? This God must be limitless. And isn't that exactly what draws us all to the sea? It's an undeniable feeling of connection to forces and a Being far more powerful than ourselves that invites us and calls us to come connect with His everlasting grace.
     Over the past several months at the church I attend we have been singing a new worship song called "Oceans" by Hillsong United. It was this past fall and winter when I was strongly seeking Christ's path for me that He began to grow anew the desire inside me to journey back to Europe and take the next step towards serving God overseas. I remember one Sunday in particular singing this new song and sincerely praying the lyrics to God.

"Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"

     The thought of being led where my faith would be "without borders" was very stirring (and a little bit scary) for me. Over the past few years, God has stretched my heart and faith beyond what I thought possible. It has been a journey of truly being shown not only how dependent I am upon my Savior, but also how trustworthy He really is. I intimately connected with this song. It seemed to fit like a puzzle piece in my heart's desire to be moving further into His calling on my life. To me the term "without borders" represented a call to live a life where my geographic location could be held open-palmed to His will and path. It also spoke to me of having faith that trusted in my Savior so much that there would be no borders spiritually,  meaning that I needed to be growing towards a place where my trust could be complete and total. To just trust Him who created me and died for me, to guide each and every day of my life through joyful times, painful times, frightening times, exciting or adventurous times.
     When God opened up the door for me to return to Poland at the end of March, it seemed as though He was answering and fulfilling the desire He had placed in me to take one more step in my journey of faith. He was continuing to lead me to this place of trust without borders. Whether I end up staying in Poland for 3 months or 300 months, I am going confidently knowing that this is where I am called in this part of the journey. I cannot begin to know or guess what God has planned for the rest of my future; but today as I stood on the coastline, upon the border of my homeland, I was overwhelmed with excitement and peace to soon be crossing that border and following my Savior where He leads.

The Journey Continues

     All things pending, as far as I know at this moment, I am moving from Raritan Boro, New Jersey to Warsaw, Poland in 5 weeks.
     Did I really just type that?
     In order to avoid rambling through all the boring details, I will just share a brief overview of how this huge change came to be. When I was quite young (somewhere between 10 and 12), I very distinctly felt God telling me to offer myself for a life in mission work, so I did. From there, I began making choices that built a foundation on this commitment, i.e. short trips, having dialogue with missionaries whenever I could, taking an International Ministries/Cross-Cultural Studies degree in college, and then most recently spending three months in southern Poland with Send International. I had long felt a pull towards that part of Europe and the short time I spent there served to grow the desire to serve my Savior in Poland in a more permanent way.
     When I arrived back in the United States in May of 2012, it was only about three short weeks until I moved out of my parents house and into my own apartment for the first time. Again, skipping over a lot of rambling, the past two years have been an incredible journey of growth, joy, adventure and learning for me. Through all of those changes and new experiences, the one thing that occupied my mind at some point in almost every day was my time in Poland and how much I longed to return. I left it as a matter of prayer and for the most part, kept my thoughts to myself and pursued God through the Bible, Zarephath Christian Church (zarephath.org), constant Lewis and Tolkien reading, and priceless conversations with family and friends. This past Autumn, though, I began bringing the subject up to a few people and just speaking out loud what was in my mind regarding a return to Europe. Over the Christmas holidays, one day I mentioned to my mom something like "I just really want to go somewhere next year", to which she very firmly replied "Then do it. Start looking into things." Brilliant, moms are brilliant.
     The search began for which specific opportunities were out there. I applied to a few positions in both Christian and secular work, thinking that even some sort of regular job would at least put me over there and open the door for ministry opportunities. It was something to just pray about and see where God led.
     I remember saying I was not going to ramble, but I think I've failed. Apologies. What happened was I was contacted by an international preschool in Warsaw (meaning all the teaching is done in English) and told there was a position open for the taking as a teacher. After a few emails back and forth and a skype meeting, I was informed that the position is meant to be immediate, like, by March or April. It was only a couple weeks ago that I found out how quick the move would be, if I decided to take the position. I was told I could go and teach through June and then decide from there whether or not I will stay for the following school year. I asked for the weekend to decide and spent that time in a lot of prayer and seeking advice from a few wise souls who know me well and whom I trust. Every time I thought about saying no to the opportunity and just staying where I am, the question that clearly came to mind was "For what? If overseas ministry is the life you intend to live, the life you're dreaming of, why on earth would you stay here and build a foundation that you plan to leave in a few years anyway?"
     Realizing this has become far too long a first entry, I will end it here and sum things up by saying that this decision has felt different each step of the way from decisions in the past. I have thought through details and sought out other people's counsel far more than I usually do. With the support of my closest friends and family members, I am stepping out in quite a large leap of faith and making the move March 24th.

This is a photo I took in the town square of Opole, Poland in 2012