Thanksgiving Reflections

      As I sit alone in a quiet corner of a little cafe on Thanksgiving day in the wooded, houses-and-gardens-and-train-track filled suburbs of the very southeast of Warsaw, Poland, I find some thoughts finally finding form in my soul and I feel at peace. Since I graduated college four and half years ago (and even during college), I have been exploring life and the world with eagerness, passion, anxiety, you name it. I have tried so much, done so much, made huge and fast decisions, chosen big risks and sometimes soared and sometimes crashed and burned miserably. I don't regret it for one second. I can see clearly now how the Lord guided, held and grew me through it all. I've learnt how the world turns and what human life and society require and I've learnt to remember the person I've always been, the inner person God created and I'm still learning now how to make choices which best reflect who He has created me to be. I fall happily on His grace.

      After all this running and trying and striving and just plain adventuring, I finally feel a settling in my soul, at least for the time being. Making it through this long year of life in Poland is a very big deal for me (and yea, I'm only half-way there right now). I see clearly already how God has worked and I think I have small glimpses of how He plans to continue to work in me and in those around me. It's painful, but so beautiful and such a true relief to rely absolutely upon God's daily providence to see me through another day, another week and He graciously adds so much joy to the rough journey of it. 

    

       What's even more grace is that I've started to hear His whispers on what He might have for me to do after this year is over. It's a small vision, but it's growing and I'm thankful to pray over Scripture and ideas and plans and watch for His confirmation. I see myself moving into a life of longer stays and more regularity and more equipment for future ministry. And the best part is that I feel so ready for it.