Over the past several months, I've grown to love a
crowded kitchen. Being somewhat of a minimalist (okay- no, I mean I
*want* to be a minimalist), I tend to like clean spaces without clutter,
but there is just something about a moderately cluttered kitchen that
calls out "a life is being lived here!" Also, over the course of my current
year teaching in southern Poland, I've had to grow and stretch towards a
better understanding of making anyplace I'm in my actual home for
however long I'm there. I used to be such an unsettled nomad, but these
days, I treat anywhere as home, even if it's just for a couple weeks of
classes in Warsaw or even just a quick weekend away from Katowice. A good friend recently pointed out to me that who we are as individuals is actually whoever the person we are right now in this moment is. I may not completely agree with this line of thinking in that I do think each individual is born with (albeit ever shifting/growing) unique personality. We each come from a unique set of circumstances, our very own set of DNA, and even a slightly different family history from our siblings due to the fact that we aren't born at the same time as them (okay, I guess with twins this point may be a bit shaky). Anyway, while we are all composed of many parts which make up the individual "you", I think there is something to be said for realizing that each moment you are making choices (whether consciously or accidentally) about who it is that you are and who it is that you're becoming. Each moment, I can have some will power over my mood, my opinion, my thoughts and actions. My personal history matters a whole lot to me, but that doesn't mean I must live defined by it. In reality, as a Christian, I find the Lord guiding me to be ever more and more defined by who He has called me to be and by His story over my life as He pursues me and I pursue Him.
I know, I know, what does this all have to do with a messy kitchen? I think my point is that I'm not waiting around for the circumstances of my life to fall into place in the exact why I assumed or dreamed they would as a child or even more so, as a teenager and during my college years. God has been teaching my anxious spirit and strong-willed determination so much about how He actually has called me to follow His plan. Plan A fell out the window a long time ago and over the past year, God has showed me that Plan B has to go as well. It's His plan that He intends to guide me through in this life and I am very, very, veryyyy slowly taking steps to trust Him not to leave me alone in this. It's scary, it's adventurous, it might get dangerous, but wasn't that what the life of Christ was as He lived as an example for the rest of us? I am no longer waiting for tomorrow to bring that picture perfect life. My kitchen may be tiny, but I've thrown some photos on the fridge, containers on the counter, confetti on the window sill (someone sent some in a Christmas card this year, so why waste that?!?), Bible verses on a clipboard, goals on the wall and literally anything that tells me "You are home right now, every second that you walk with Christ, no matter what circumstances may look like and no matter whether your choices make sense to anyone else." God's got this, so please, someone remind me on those days I forget who He is.
