Things have become a bit dusty here recently....For some reason, in this season of life in Katowice, I am having a much more difficult time than I typically do molding my thoughts into written words. Maybe it's because life has felt like it's flying by since I landed, but there have been plenty of moments and days of relief from the madness and noise, so I really don't think that's it. Whatever the reason, I hope it sorts itself out over time.
Katowice (and maybe Silesia in general) has proven to be a far different experience to my previous two stays in Poland. The history of the city is so layered, complex and frankly, challenging to grasp or fully understand. The people are far from similar to those I have met in Warsaw or Opole.
There is a unique roughness here with many, many layers to comb through as I pursue an understanding of those around me. Katowice is a city on the move, evolving into something very new while also holding on very firmly to it's relatively recent history. Somedays, this city feels like it has suctioned itself tightly to its central identity and is not letting go, but other days, it feels as though the city is hurling forward, but without a clear direction or destination in mind...or maybe perhaps, some of these impressions I'm getting are actually what's happening inside my own self and so, I subconsciously have projected them onto my surroundings. In the end, it's probably a "both/and" situation.
Europe and the world at large feels like it is daily groaning and stretching and whirling in turmoil and heaps and heaps of positive and negative change and I tend to internalize the groanings of my surroundings and it becomes a challenge to sort out what is truth inside me and what I have absorbed from my environment. I'm slowly learning the value of the weekends as then I have more time to sort through my thoughts, breathe some fresh air and enjoy the wonderful company of new friends who help me get out of my own head for a while.
Each week, I struggle with focusing on my purpose for each day, for this chapter of life in Silesia as my mind wanders and worries over where I'm meant to be in the next chapter. I'm trying to embrace each day as it comes and make notes to keep my mind and heart clearly seeing what exactly I should be seeking to achieve or grow in right now. I want fully to embrace this moment in my life and both contribute and gain all that I can from it. I think I've finally learnt that expectations can be so very dangerous, as nearly nothing is what I thought it would be. But indeed, that isn't necessarily a bad thing as there have been so many fantastic surprises that I never would have assumed I'd be gifted here even amidst the more challenging aspects of current life. For this, I will be forever grateful.
As ever, what keeps me grounded and moving forward is the firm foundation I'm building my life on. No matter how challenging a day or week may be, I know the One who has called me to be here for this time and I know He is working purposes beyond what I can see.
