October Reflections and Explorations

      I have been avoiding updating here for quite a while now. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it, scheduled days to write, written post-it note reminders, organized photos to be uploaded, because I have done all of that. The issue has been in the fact that I have not had any idea what I wanted to write, or what I should or shouldn’t write about or even how to formulate some sensible and informative update on how life is going here in southern Poland. I just have not been struck with the right words. The answer for the reason behind this lack of inspiration is probably the very same thing that I don’t really actually feel like writing about (but obviously, I’m about to…). 

     The thing is that the past month or so has been quite difficult…no, honestly, really, really difficult. I moved to Katowice because of a strong desire in my soul to spend more time in Poland and see what more the Lord has for me to do in this chapter in life. I LOVE Poland, really, and fortunately, I also have a great respect for and interest in Montessori education, so combining these two factors and watching as the Lord crushed barrier after barrier in the process of me moving here all seemed like life was turning up roses. It’s not at all that I wasn’t realistic and aware of the struggles of living in a foreign land far away from family and surrounded by a language I still don’t know very well, because I’ve done all that before. I knew what I was in for in that sense. At the same time, there are certain circumstances which I would rather not bore you with which have made life a struggle recently. I’m honestly not trying to complain. There’s not really much that I can do about it and at the end of the day, it is in God’s hands and I can still hold on to the knowledge that for this year, for whatever reason, God has placed me here and He will see me through.

     One absolutely beautiful thing that has happened in the past month is that I have finally fallen completely in love with my students. It is a joy to see them each morning and a joy to share life and laughs and new discoveries with them each week. I can see my relationship growing with them whether they’re knocking me over with morning hugs, snatching my slippers from off my feet or just singing with me as we walk to the playground. Lately, I have started to realize more of the absolute privilege and sobering gravity there is with being given the opportunity to work with these little ones. Not to sound cliché, but they quite literally are the future society leaders who will shape the world of tomorrow. If there is anything in which I can play a small part in imparting into their hearts this year, it’s that it is most important to be kind and to be gentle with others. These are huge words in my class right now. Each week may make me weary, but I can rely each day on the Lord’s strength to offer joy, acceptance and support to my little ones. 

     The weekends have become a great source of mending for me (I know they are for everyone!). Since I’ve found myself more than usually weary the past month or so, though, I have really learned the value in breathing deep at the weekend, exploring and recognizing all over again who I am in Christ and why I am here in Katowice in the first place. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have had recently to get out of town for a few days and refresh my perspective before plunging back into another full week. If you think of me throughout this week, please say a prayer or two and for now, please enjoy these photos from recent explorations. God bless whoever may be reading this at the moment.  

Mid-October adventure in London!

Exploring shops at the Camden Market in London

This and all following are from a Saturday recently spent in Krakow

Whirling and Twirling

 
     Things have become a bit dusty here recently....For some reason, in this season of life in Katowice, I am having a much more difficult time than I typically do molding my thoughts into written words. Maybe it's because life has felt like it's flying by since I landed, but there have been plenty of moments and days of relief from the madness and noise, so I really don't think that's it. Whatever the reason, I hope it sorts itself out over time.

     Katowice (and maybe Silesia in general) has proven to be a far different experience to my previous two stays in Poland. The history of the city is so layered, complex and frankly, challenging to grasp or fully understand. The people are far from similar to those I have met in Warsaw or Opole.
   
     There is a unique roughness here with many, many layers to comb through as I pursue an understanding of those around me. Katowice is a city on the move, evolving into something very new while also holding on very firmly to it's relatively recent history. Somedays, this city feels like it has suctioned itself tightly to its central identity and is not letting go, but other days, it feels as though the city is hurling forward, but without a clear direction or destination in mind...or maybe perhaps, some of these impressions I'm getting are actually what's happening inside my own self and so, I subconsciously have projected them onto my surroundings. In the end, it's probably a "both/and" situation.

 

     Europe and the world at large feels like it is daily groaning and stretching and whirling in turmoil and heaps and heaps of positive and negative change and I tend to internalize the groanings of my surroundings and it becomes a challenge to sort out what is truth inside me and what I have absorbed from my environment. I'm slowly learning the value of the weekends as then I have more time to sort through my thoughts, breathe some fresh air and enjoy the wonderful company of new friends who help me get out of my own head for a while.

     Each week, I struggle with focusing on my purpose for each day, for this chapter of life in Silesia as my mind wanders and worries over where I'm meant to be in the next chapter. I'm trying to embrace each day as it comes and make notes to keep my mind and heart clearly seeing what exactly I should be seeking to achieve or grow in right now. I want fully to embrace this moment in my life and both contribute and gain all that I can from it. I think I've finally learnt that expectations can be so very dangerous, as nearly nothing is what I thought it would be. But indeed, that isn't necessarily a bad thing as there have been so many fantastic surprises that I never would have assumed I'd be gifted here even amidst the more challenging aspects of current life. For this, I will be forever grateful.

      As ever, what keeps me grounded and moving forward is the firm foundation I'm building my life on. No matter how challenging a day or week may be, I know the One who has called me to be here for this time and I know He is working purposes beyond what I can see.