Settling in Without Settling

Spodek in Katowice

     In the words of Lemony Snicket, “the world is quiet here.” And no, I certainly do not mean to say that life is quiet here in the bustling city of Katowice, because it doesn’t seem to be for even one single moment of any given day. Whether it’s the lively voices of my students laughing with one another over some childhood play, or their screaming exclamations as they discover yet another snail or slug on the side of the road on the way to the park, or the continuous Monday through Saturday sounds outside my flat windows of unnecessarily loud construction, unexpected parades, rollerbladers, sirens, trams or just really, really drunken individuals shouting on the streets at roughly 4am, my physical world has yet to still or find silence. 

     What is slowly finding peace and quiet is the noise in my soul. Not to be obvious or cliché, but moving across the ocean is really rather a big deal. Relocating to a new city with a new job and brand new human relations is overwhelming and exhausting in a very specific way. Even though this is my third time coming to Poland, and I was able to anticipate several of the proverbial mountains I would need to climb upon arrival, the process still caught me by surprise in many unexpected ways and perhaps not surprisingly, threw my inner rhythm off almost completely. This is evidenced to me even by the fact that for weeks I have been searching for the words to write here and have not been able to organize or sort through my thoughts enough to do so until this weekend. From the moment the flight touched down, life was off and running and I’ve been running right after it in a feeble attempt to keep up with all these new realities. 

     In the first week or so of my time here in Katowice, I came very close to wanting to book a one-way flight straight back to home and predictability in the Northeast. Times were rough and circumstances were not falling into place the way I felt I needed them to. From finding a flat to understanding the system of life in Silesia, I honestly was beginning to question if God really had a good enough reason for sending me here. Now, seven and half weeks later, I can finally say that I am so thrilled, thankful and confident about continuing on here. I could fill this space with boring details, but I think it’s adequate to say that if God calls you to a place for a new chapter in life, you can 100% trust that He will knock down any walls the enemy attempts to construct and will show you His mighty hand if you’ll only give the craziness of life over to the One who knows all, sees the big picture and can and will grant grace in the midst of all the difficulties. 

      Besides all of that, I have already had the opportunity to do so much exploring this summer. From visiting Krakow to climbing a mountain to riding a cable car overtop a  lovely park to visiting Ostrava, Czech, all the stress and feelings of being overwhelmed have been speckled with plenty of fun. And fun is good, right? Yea, of course, but what has actually been the biggest motivation that’s kept me from fleeing or giving up here in Katowice is the beautiful human souls with whom I have been able to begin sharing life a bit. Whether it’s my young students with whom I spend most of my week or new friends and relations in other settings, I have already heard so many stories, shared so many laughs and engaged in so many discussions on life in this world-gone-wrong and what things we can do to try and help be a force of positive change in our little corner of the world for the time that we’re here. I am so thankful for the people I have met and the ways in which they’ve been inspiring, challenging and encouraging to me here. There are days where I feel I am slowly opening the best gift ever as I share life with brilliant souls who hold common goals with me of trying to instill in the next generation an entirely different and more wonderful way to live life.

      I still haven’t quite been able to find a specific, nicely worded reason for why I 

am here in this slightly strange city of Katowice, but I am not sure that we really always get to know the reasons for God’s callings. There are still several days any given week when I wonder why on earth I am here in this place or how my time here could possibly be of any help to anyone, but maybe it’s not so bad not knowing. The changes I am interested in being a part of in life don’t ultimately have anything to do with me, but with other souls who are searching for hope and Light in this dark place. I know the One who holds the power to work through me in His own ways and timing to work real and lasting change in the world and I’m slowly learning that my job is continuously to pursue my relationship with Christ and allow His grace to grow me while He does through me what He has planned for my life.

 Balcony on Wawel Castle, Krakow

Park in Ktw

    

Hiking a mountain outside Bielsko-Biala

Ostrava

Main Square, Ostrava

Sometimes my friends and I wear the same clothes without planning...

An Embassy and a Garden

     Yesterday, my mom and I journeyed over to the city to submit my application at the Polish embassy for permission to work and live in Katowice. I think it was a healthy, but mini-reintroduction to the language and culture for me. As we stepped through the heavy wooden side door, it was almost like walking into Poland itself and without even having to go through the arduous task of flying, so that was quite magical! I'm so excited that God seems to be so smoothly paving the way for me to spend a bit more of my life in Poland. In a way, it really has begun to feel more like home than where I am actually from (except, of course, that being with my family will always feel like home). I am thrilled to see who God has for me to meet, get to know and serve while teaching in Katowice. Another chapter is slowly being written and it's brilliant.
    
     After getting through the paperwork portion of the day, we walked to the Lower West Side for some belated Mother's Day celebrations. Mainly, we were looking to walk on the High Line, but we also ended up enjoying a few other great places that Chelsea has to offer. In case you're reading this and haven't previously heard of it, The High Line is a disused rail line above the streets for several blocks of the Lower West Side. Rather than tear it down, it has been turned into a public garden with a mixture of wild plants, trees, flowers, and artwork on display. It's lovely and if you've never been, you really should check it out. (I definitely recommend doing so on a weekday in the spring as weekends are wall-to-wall people and the plants are hard to see...)
     I think, though, my favorite part of  walking along through the garden was actually the fact that almost everyone up there seemed not to be from New York City. In fact, they seemed to be from all over the county and even the world. The cultural-obsessed geek inside of me was thrilled to pick out all the different languages as people passed and to have groups of friends and families asking me to take their picture together (which is one of my very favorite things to do for tourists). All these humans who had come to visit the city (including myself) seemed fascinated with this garden. I don't think it's that it's particularly impressive or gorgeous, because honestly, it's not. No, I think it is more so that it is a wonder to behold because of where it lives. Trees and wild plants and bushes aren't usually the scene most tourist come to New York to see, but the irony of this sprawling mile and a half garden growing right above and in between the dense concrete, brick, and glass all smashed together in typical New York fashion stirs up a real sense of wonder and awe in the very being of the human soul. It is as if we are up above the streets searching for beauty amongst the harshness of life. The more I thought about it afterwords, the more I realized how similar the experience was to the Christian life. We live in a broken, hard, aching and suffering world and because of this, most humans spend their lives searching for hope amidst the hurt and confusion. As Christians, we are called to be a resting place, a soft landing and at the same time a leading place where searching humans are pointed straight to the true Hope and Light of the world, Jesus Christ our Creator and Savior. I know that I myself fall short of this calling in life often, but that just proves to me so much more how Christ is the one who creates the beauty, heals the broken, and softens the hard. I'm so thankful He's invited me along to see His handiwork both in nature and even more so in His Kingdom work.

Book Reviews: Lewis and Levy

     Two in one? Can we handle it? Sure, we've got this. I've been doing a lot of reading these days. Isn't it a comfort to find that in the midst of transitions and waiting on Visas for weeks on end that books are solid and dependable and right there for getting yourself lost in for a bit? It's a wonderful gift, really. So, I am going to write about two books in particular that have helped me through the past few weeks or so, but each for quite different reasons. One book was rather deep and a bit dark and very helpful in my pursuit of growing on my faith journey with Christ. The other book was absolutely fantastic in making me smile and laugh heartily in the midst of a somewhat stressful few days of moving house in preparation for moving to the south of Poland about the end of May.

     Shall we have a go at the more stern and somber of the two first? Yes, I think so. A Grief Observed by C.S.Lewis is the recording of his mental and spiritual processing just after the passing of his very beloved wife, Joy. I have been finding it difficult even to draw from myself the words which form how this book affected me. I really, really just suggest that you read it at some point in your life. If you're anything like me, you may feel your own mind and heart processing the complex (and sometimes mad-sounding) concepts that Lewis writes about during this dark time in his life. It is not a book for the ultimate optimist, surely. Lewis famously describes his faith as being no more than a "house of cards" which God repeatedly whacks down each time Lewis has thought he's built it anew. As I read these writings, I started to despair a bit myself in this person who has indirectly so greatly aided me along my own personal faith journey. Was it all nothing to him in the end? Did he lose his way over this? These wondering worries had me unnerved for a bit.
    

     Thankfully, I found the answer to be, no, of course not. I think the one truth, amongst many, which I can most easily describe in words at this time is that Lewis discovered (as all Christians must) that we as mere humans, imperfect and flawed beings, sanctified through Christ, but still only beginning the road to eternal redemption are shakable. We are not solid beings. We are not the truth-bearers, but rather (and thank Heavens, really), our Creator-God is. He is the unshakable foundation upon which we build our faith, even if it is a mere "house of cards" that He must continually knock down so we can begin anew as we ever move towards the eternal inheritance and the true reality we shall live in in Christ. Yes, we must have faith, but ultimately, it is God who calls us, God who redeems us and God who holds onto us and really, thank God for this. He cannot be moved nor shaken and if this is the foundation I am building my life upon, then whether I doubt, or fail or downright fall apart, He will always be the eternally dependable One upon whom I land. He will carry me through, always and He can be trusted. Amen. Read the book- really.

     The second book which has been of great help to me recently may require a bit more explanation in that it technically is a book written with an audience of children in mind. The book is called Ellie May Can Definitely Be Trusted to Keep a Secret and it is the third in the "Ellie May" series written by the talented and very, very funny Marianne Levy. You may not yet have heard of Marianne, but really, you should have, so, shame on you! (kidding...). Marianne is a fairly new British author who attended Cambridge, at some point apparently was the voice of a yogurt and then began writing children's literature- three things for which I am trying really hard not to be jealous of her.  I plan to read all three of the books, actually, but this happened to be the first one to arrive in the mail.

     Should we ever become too old to enjoy reading children's books? Obviously, I answer that with a resounding "perish the thought!" If you're still not convinced, my excuse is that my eldest niece has a birthday coming up and because she is turning into quite the well-read young person, I wanted to contribute to her collection with a series of which she probably hasn't yet heard, but will most likely greatly enjoy. Of course, like any good aunt, I am kind enough to fully preview literature for her...meaning that I am definitely secretly reading her birthday books before I give them to her....don't tell, thanks.

     Ellie May Can Definitely Be Trusted to Keep a Secret is truly a refreshing gem amongst today's writings for young ladies. The book's protagonist is a young mega-star who is balancing a busy career with learning how life and friendships actually work, which is sometime contrary to how we initially (and maybe a bit selfishly) think things should work. The book tells a tale in which Ellie May and her chaperone Jeffrey travel to New York City for an important interview. During the trip, Ellie May finds herself in one pickle after another, but by the end of it, I think she's learned a few lessons on what it means to be a true friend. I love this book because while it is written on a level simple enough for children to comprehend, it is also not at all written in a way which belittles their intelligence or capacity for wit. In  the fashion of true British humor, this book does not spell out every single joke for the reader (which in my opinion is fantastic). There is a fair amount of sarcasm to be grasped in the story, though I will firmly assert that it is not obnoxious nor disrespectful sarcasm which is another reason why it is so perfect and enjoyable to read. My favorite line, I think, is a description of a television show's set and the line reads "...and as Ellie May stepped round the television cameras she could see the city lit up like a Christmas tree in the shape of New York." To be completely honest, the entire book was absolutely hilarious in the best way possible.

     I also greatly appreciated that the story spins evidence and reason for good, strong morals, but it also leaves enough open for the reader to wonder and interpret for herself which choice would ultimately be the right one to make. Written primarily for girls aged 7-10, I would definitely recommend this series for young ladies who are beginning to make personal discoveries about the world around them and who are also beginning to dream of what they might contribute to this big, big world. Ellie May and her adventurous adventures will give you feelings of joy, sadness, excitement and pure and silly happiness. If you would like to find out more about Marianne Levy and the Ellie May books, you can do so at their website here. Also, if you'd like to order the books for your own daughter, niece, granddaughter (or obviously, it's perfectly acceptable to purchase them for yourself!) and you currently live in America, I have been told that the best place to order them is on the big, bad Amazon so as to avoid astronomical shipping charges...you can do so here.

      And now, with a few books to add to your own "To Read" list, I will leave you with a few more photos of what spring looks like in New Jersey, because I definitely have not shared enough about that...